


To Be Loved (Abandoned)

by SuperGirl13



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Parenting, M/M, Please read, Slow Build, famous!Magnus, i suck at descriptions, its a soulmate au!, robert is awful ok dont hate me, side sizzy and clace in later chapters, this is my first fic so bear with me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-11
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-30 03:12:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 10,874
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3920803
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SuperGirl13/pseuds/SuperGirl13
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In a world where your Soulmate’s name appears on your wrist on your 16th birthday, you’d think the world would realize that all sexualities and orientations are natural, but sadly bigots still exist.</p><p>Alec is a shy, kind, kid. Completely average in every way. Until he wasn’t. On the break of his 16th birthday, Alec gets, possibly the shock of his life. Not only is his soulmate a dude, he’s a world famous dude! How he’s going to explain this to his parents, is beyond him really…</p><p>Magnus is one of the lucky ones, he’s doing what he loves, and he’s successful at it. He has the best support system in the form of his beautiful mother, and he’s really living his dream. When Alec’s 16th birthday comes around, he’s ecstatic, finally, his almost perfect life will be complete! but things don’t always go the way you plan, and Magnus finds himself fighting harder than he’s ever fought before, for the right to be loved and to be in love…</p><p>(title taken from 18 by One Direction)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue Pt.1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey there! so this is my first fic, on ao3 and just in general, so please be kind ^.^  
> I've always been obsessed with soulmate aus, so writing one just seems natural.
> 
> I'm also posting this on my tumblr, so you can find me here;  
> http://skeleton-supergirl.tumblr.com/
> 
> Enjoy and feed back is always welcome and encouraged!

(Magnus' POV)

“So a little birdie told me it was your sixteenth birthday tomorrow? Could this be true?”  
Ugh. Seriously everyone has asked me this already, come up with something original for once lady. Guess I have to act cheerful.  
"Yeah. I couldn't think of a better way to spend a birthday then at my first red carpet premiere!"  
“Thats amazing! What do you think she’ll be like?” the girl asked. Double ugh. She seriously is assuming that I, with my glittery shoes and what could be considered a cardigan, am straight?  
Ok wait back up a bit. Let me give you a little backstory here, my name is Magnus Bane, I’m 15 and I am currently at my very first movie premiere!  
I alway knew I wanted to act, for as long as I could remember, so when my favorite director had an open audition for his latest blockbuster, I jumped at the chance. Everyone was so shocked when i got the part, even me. And now a year later, everyone knows (or is learning) my name, and I’m walking a red carpet.  
But back to before. I'm the most flamboyant 15 years old ever, I wanted to wear glitter eyeshadow but my PR team thought that it'd be a bit much. I'm probably bi but I have a very strong suspicion that my soulmate will be a boy, and I really don’t need anyone knowing that right now, especially with my career just taking off. But even with me not wanting to outright say it I thought it’d be a little obvious that the interviewers should at least be vague. Time to lie, yay! (That was sarcasm, btw.) Anyways back to reality. *fake smile applied*  
“I hope that when we find each other she’ll be ok with what I do.” I say, successfully avoiding choking on she.  
“I’m sure she will be” the lady smiled at me and just like that I’m whisked off to another interview.  
The questions are mainly about the movie and how I'm adjusting to fame (very well, thank you). I only get the birthday question twice more so that was nice. Then just like that its time to go into the theater.  
Because its going to be past midnight when the movies over and I want to see the name appear, I set my phone alarm for 5 minutes before midnight and turn it on vibrate. My mom and I sit down in our seats, the director and producers make a short speech then the movie starts.  
It’s so amazing yet really weird seeing my face on the giant movie screen of the kodak theatre, especially along side people I’ve always admired, that are now my friends.  
Right in the middle of one of my biggest scene, I feel my phone vibrate.  
Shit.  
Oh come on! Its a good thing I know how much longer the scene is going to be, because when its over I have one minute to get to the bathroom to see the name appear. I get up and walk out, trying to draw as little attention as possible. (Which if you know me at all you'd know that that is a very difficult and unnatural task). Finally, I make it to the bathroom with minimal sightings and 20 second to spare. I get in a stall and lock the door. 10 seconds now.  
9  
8  
7  
6  
5  
4  
3  
2…  
and as if an invisible hand is writing on my skin a name appears.  
Alexander Gideon Lightwood. So I was right, it is a boy. I like that name. Alexander. It rolls of the tongue with ease and seems to float around a bit then flutter away. Welp, I can’t have people seeing this. Good thing I came prepared. I take out a tube of concealer, mentally thanking my mom for being open-minded enough to let me buy make-up. I apply a little and rub it in.  
There. Now people won’t see anything that isn’t theirs to see. I go back out to find that I only missed one scene. The movie turned out amazing and everyone seemed to love it. As my mom and I were walking out I was getting stopped a lot to congratulate me on a great first feature film.  
I thought I was in the clear and everyone had forgotten about my birthday, but then the annoying interviewer from before shows up.  
“omg! happy birthday, birthday boy! so who is she?” she says, all really fast grabbing at my wrist. when she looks at my wrist i can see confusion wash over her face.  
“but-but. theres no name.”  
“I know. concealer is magical. there is no way I’m letting anyone i do not permit to see my name. Especially the likes of you, so kindly leave me alone.” I say, then strut off. yes I strut. deal with it. She looks sort of shocked, then shrugs and walks away.  
Mom and I get into the limo and the day is over. when we get home it’s kind of awkward as we get ready for bed, but right as i get under the sheets, mom come into my room.  
“When you said you wanted concealer, i thought you just wanted to experiment with make-up. i didn’t know you wanted to hide your soulmate from the world.”  
“trust me mom, it’s better this way.” I said, turning on my laptop.  
“how come?” she asked, sitting on the side of my bed.  
I sigh, “because, I don’t want to meet my soulmate yet. I want to figure out my career and what my next move is, plus I don’t want the media going on a mad hunt for them like they do for every teenage star who hasn’t met their soul mate yet.” I say, not looking up at her, too engrossed in my tumblr. I love my tumblr. Nobody knows who I am so everyone following me likes me for me, not because I’m famous. Also I don’t look at her because that isn’t entirely the whole truth. And she knows it.  
“sweety you know you can tell me anything right? I’ll love you no matter what.” She says, closing my laptop on me.  
“hey!” she just looks at me with the concerned look very loving mother shares. I know how much my honesty would mean to her and how she won’t care that it’s a boys name. So I cave.  
“Alright, Just give me a second.” I roll my eyes sarcastically and get up and go into my bathroom. I wash off the make-up, and the name appears from behind it.  
I never gave much thought to it in the theatre, but it really is a beautiful name. I wonder how old Alexander is? If he knows I’m his soulmate and is seeing me on posters and in tv trailers and being proud, or worried, or anxious? With a name like that a beautiful man is surely behind it. I walk back out staring at my wrist, then hold it out for mom to see.  
She just stares at it for a while, and it’s making me nervous. what if I was wrong and she isn’t ok with this?  
“Do you hate me?” I say, almost in a whisper, pulling away and looking at the floor.  
“Oh my gosh no, no honey I could never hate you. I love you more than anything, you know that. I’m Just surprised.” she assures me, and pulls me into a hug.  
“So you’re not disappointed?” I ask, still not sure on how far her acceptance goes.  
“No sweetie. Never.” she smiles, and then she gets a mischievous look on her face.  
“Why don’t we look him up?” she says, grabbing at my laptop. I just groan and let her do it because I’m curious. We find his twitter with a quick google search, and I’m a bit shocked to find out he’s only twelve.  
“He’s four years younger than me?! well there goes the idea of him already knowing about me.”  
“Are you going to message him?” My mom asks, looking at some of his photos. Dang for a twelve years old, he’s really, very attractive. I think for a minute.  
“No. I think that I should let him find out for himself. Also, being twelve, he might still be confused about his sexuality, so I would want to throw this on him.” Mom seems to agree so we say our goodnights and she goes to bed.  
I keep looking on his twitter for a bit, then I think about following him, but I decide against it. I’ll just let him be for four more years. Damn. What am I gonna do for four years, knowing that he’s out there? I’ll think of something eventually. I go on tumblr for a while longer then go to bed, content with my life and where it’s going, with only one thought in mind.  
Four more years.


	2. Prologue Pt.2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> time jump four years and it's Alec's 16th birthday!
> 
> for this fic Alec's birthday is October 28th.

(Alec's POV)

It’s 11:59. One minute to go before my soulmate’s name appears on my wrist. I can’t believe I let Isabelle talk me into staying up with her to see it appear. Why am I even letting her see?! Oh by the angel this is stupid. I know it’ll be a guy’s name, but she won’t. Oh gosh here we go.  
“10,  
9  
8  
7  
6  
5  
4  
3  
2..”  
I look at my inner wrist as Isabelle finishes counting down. A shimmer appears first, then, as if an invisible hand is drawing on my skin, a name appears.  
Magnus Bane.  
Holy. Shit.  
So not only is it a boy, but it’s the one of the most famous boys in the entire world. Great. Just fantastic. And he’s so attractive! And I’m just… me. Plus, he’s a notorious Dater. He claims it’s because he wants practice for his soulmate and it’s never serious but you never know…  
While I’m going through all of this in my head Isabelle is just staring at my wrist in shock. I guess I have some explaining to do…  
“Isabelle…” I start.  
“ No. Don’t apologize. And don’t you give me that look Alec I know you well enough to know what you were about to say.” She stated, pointedly. She broke out into a grin, “He’s so hot isn’t he?”  
“Oh my god Isabelle you don’t say things like that!”  
“Well why not? He is. Plus I don’t get my soulmates name for another year so I'm good.”  
I give her a funny look.  
“ So you’re okay with my soulmate being you know…”  
“What?” After a few seconds of silence I realize she’s going to make my say it out front.  
“You know that he’s a… guy?”  
“Of course I don’t care Alec come on it’s the 21st century, it shouldn’t matter.”  
“Ha, yeah, try telling that to mom and dad... I don’t think I'm going to show them my soulmate.”  
After what looked like some serious thinking, she responded half-heartedly,  
“ Yeah I think that would be best. On a different note, at least you like his films right?”  
“ Of course” I said with a smile, I think to myself. She looks like she’s fighting with herself before she asks,  
“ So do you, you know, find him attractive?” Ah ha, I see what she’s doing, she’s trying to get me to tell her my sexuality, sneaky sister.  
“Y-Yes. Yes I think he’s very attractive and I’ve always loved his personality. I really like him and obviously it’s meant to be.”  
“That’s a relief. Let’s try and contact him! He obviously doesn’t know who you are (sorry it’s true!) so let’s let him know!”  
At this, my face visibly whitens  
“ N-No. We can’t. I can’t. I-I’m gay Izzy. Mom and dad would never be okay with knowing my soulmates’ a male but that I tried to contact him?! No. I think I need to be independent, not to mention legal as he is 4 years older than me, before I go looking for him.”  
She gives me a sympathetic look,  
“ Alright well I keep you updated on all the latest Magnus Bane gossip” she smirked winking at me. I surprised her a bit by responding,  
“ You know what, I’d like that.”  
She smiled at this. We said our goodnights and she left to go to bed. Before I fell asleep I looked for my favorite bracelet and put it on. It covered the name perfectly. Smiling to myself, my last few thought were of Magnus’ latest (topless) photoshoot, and then fear, of yet to come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> short and sucky but they /do/ get better promise.


	3. Chapter 1

(Alec's POV)(this is Alec’s 16th birthday) 

 

When I wake up in the morning, I am hit with a hard realization, I know who my soulmate is. He, is famous, and not to mention, a he. I groan and go into the bathroom.   
I look in the mirror. I don’t look any different. I still have bright blue eyes, dark black hair that seems to be permanently messy, and a skinny but slightly muscular structure. So why do I feel so alien?   
I put on two thick bracelets just to be safe, and go downstairs. Even though its 10 in the morning, no one seems to be around. Mom and Dad are at work, and I guess Izzy and Jace are still asleep.   
Birthdays have never really mattered in my family, but seeing as 16 is kinda a big deal and it is a Saturday, I figured that someone would at least make me pancakes. I shrug and turn on the TV and start getting out the ingredients for the best chocolate chips pancakes you’ve ever tasted.   
As I’m mixing in the flour, one of the celebrity interviews come on the morning show, and suddenly I’m smacked in the feels with a big blast of handsome. Magnus is giving an interview for his new movie and looks absolutely stunning…   
Now that I know he’s my soulmate, I can’t help but look at him differently. What will it feel like to kiss those lips, hold his hand? I can’t help but stop what I’m doing and turn my full attention to the screen. The interviewer is asking him about his latest ex-arm-candy and I crinkle my nose in distaste. But then he says something so shocking I have to sit down.  
“So Magnus, what about your soulmate?”  
“What about them?”  
“Don’t you think Dating would hurt their feelings?”  
“No I don’t think so. I mean it’s just a bit of fun, its not like we’re anything serious.” I scoff at this but continue watching.  
“Well don’t you have any interest in finding her?” He coughs awkwardly when this is said and I smirk, knowing fully well why.  
“Of course I do. But HE actually just turned sixteen, and I’m no Cradle Snatcher.”  
I stare in shock. He knows it’s my birthday? how? The interviewer is silent for a few seconds then regains her composure.  
“Um- He?”  
“Yes he. my soulmate is a male. I know it doesn’t matter but I identify myself as a bisexual.”  
“Well what’s his name?” the interviewer asks, now excited to be the first with this tidbit of information.  
“I’m afraid I can’t tell you that” he states, smirking slightly and tutting jokingly.  
“Oh come on! Please?”  
“Nope.”  
“Why not?”  
“Because like I said, he’s sixteen, and that means, most likely, he’s still living at home. Not every parent is as awesome as mine and I don’t want to out him in case it could put him in a difficult situation.” He explains and I just stare at him.   
Yes, this boy is my soulmate for sure. But he’s not done. He turns to the camera and continues,  
“Hey soul mate if you’re watching this, call me.” He says with possibly the sexiest wink I’ve ever seen, and I nearly swoon. And just like that, the interview is over and the next segment comes on.  
“Wow, are you lucky or what?” I jump about 50 feet in the air and turn to the voice that broke me from my thoughts. Isabelle is standing at the base of the stairs and is smirking like the Cheshire Cat at me. I sigh in exasperation.  
“Shut up” I mumble, going back to my pancake making.   
“so now you have to contact him” she explains matter-of-factly as she swipes some chocolate chips from the counter. i swat her hand away and smirk,  
“Uh-uh. I don’t HAVE to do anything. And I’m actually listening to what he said, if I come out, Mom and Dad won’t want me around, and I don’t want that.”  
“Oh come on Alec, it’s not like anyone ever hangs around after they find their soulmate anyways.” Izz boredly states, rolling her eyes.  
“yeah I know, but I want to finish high school, at least before I go running off with my famous, fabulous, soulmate.” I say sarcastically, flipping my hair for emphasis and laughing.  
“Your soulmate is famous, omg Alec spill.” Jace shouts racing down the stair, and I freeze. I was so worried about what mom and dad would think, I forgot to consider how Jace would react. I give Izzy a nervous look and Jace pauses and frowns, sensing something off.   
‘OK what did I miss?” I shake my head at Izzy and start putting the mix into a pan. The entire kitchen is awkwardly silent as I finish my pancakes and sit down to eat, contemplating what to do. After a few bites, I figure he’s going to find out anyways, might as well get it over with. I sigh in defeat.   
“ok come here” I choke out, motioning for Jace to sit next to me, and he looks worried. when he sits down I hesitate, but with a reassuring look from Izzy i thrust out my wrist at him. He looks suspiciously at my bracelets and asks me with his eyes and a subtle hand gesture if he can take it off. I nod, not trusting myself to speak. He takes it off and just stare at my wrist for a few minutes, until the suspense is almost excruciating. After a few seconds my anxiety turn to frustration.   
"Well, say something already."  
"...were you expecting this?"  
“Not really no." I say, chuckling a little.   
“A-about the ‘whoa he’s famous’ part or the ‘whoa he’s a he’ part?” Jace grins, only looking slightly awkward.   
“About the ‘whoa he’s famous’ part for sure” I I state feeling more comfortable now that he knows, and I take another bite of my now slightly cool pancakes.  
“Oh ok cool. So you’re….????”  
I take a deep breath. I should’ve been expecting this. I just have to get better at saying it. Oh crap, this is hard.  
“Uh- does it matter?” I say, defeatedly.   
“Yeah, it does. I want to hear you say it.” Izzy scoffs at this.  
“Good luck with that, I barely choked it out of him last night when it appeared.” at this, I just glare at her in silence and I can feel a blush creeping on.   
“Guys, it really doesn’t matter.” I stare down at my food and Isabelle smirks,  
“Can I tell him?” she says, nudging me in the shoulder, and a full on blush appears across my face.   
I mumble a yes and go to put my dish in the sink, just for an excuse to not be in the same room when she says it. I go back into the sitting room and spread out on the couch, having successfully tuned out my younger siblings, and I turn the T.V back on.  
“Earlier in the morning, 3 time Oscar-nominee Magnus Bane, came out publicly and said that his soulmate was, in fact, a male.” I groan and start to walk away, but Izzy runs in, pulls me back down and turns the volume up.   
“Speculations have been surrounding the young movie star ever since he notoriously starting Dating a Soulless back in November last year, (its like august of the next year right now) and has been on a sort of Dating spree ever since.” As she is saying all of this photos of Magnus with at least 7 other girls flash on the screen.  
“Most of us here at E! were wondering if he was ever going to settle down and find his Mate. We just hope his Mate is aware of his actions over the past year, because, whoever you are kid, just be warned, old habits die hard.” The next thing I knew they were cutting to the next segment, and all I could do was stare at the screen in shock.   
I really hope he is a good Mate. I mean, sure it’s cool that he’s famous and all but I really don’t know anything about him. What if he’s a jerk? What if he Rejects me? What if he doesn’t want to stop Dating once we meet? While I’m having this freak out session, Izzy and Jace have been giving me a sympathetic look and talking under their breath. Izzy is the first to break the silence.  
“Ok, stop. I know you and I know right now you’re freaking out and running through all the worst scenarios in your head. Think about this, why would he come out if he wanted to keep Dating? Maybe he just Dated to seem like some sort of bad boy. Maybe his management made him for publicity. Maybe, he was just passing the time until you came along.” Some of these things comforted me, even though I don’t like the idea of anyone Dating ‘to pass the time’ let alone my Soulmate. Though, something else is bothering me about this…  
“yeah about that, how did he know today was my birthday?” I say, voicing my suspicion out loud.   
“Well he has had your name permanently etched onto his wrist for the past four years. He had to have been curious, and you're not a total prude when it comes to social media.” Jace answered sarcastically.   
“yeah, sure.” I say, tossing a pillow in his face.  
“seriously though dude, if he knows your birthday, he obviously wants to be with you, and not those Soulless’.”  
“yeah I guess you’re right…”  
“ Course I am now toss me an apple.” he states matter-of-factly plopping down on the couch. I shrug and go into the kitchen and throw Jace an apple, with him expertly catching it and swiftly takes a bite.  
When I finish breakfast, I head upstairs to get ready for my day. I close the door and take a deep sigh. That went better than expected, I thought as I stood in front of the mirror after turning the water in the shower on.   
I take this time to stare at the name on my wrist and contemplate what to do next. I don’t know whether I’m going to tell Mom and Dad tonight, though they'll probably force it out of me, and to be perfectly honest, that thought scares me shitless. He really is very handsome though. Even his name is gorgeous, gosh. Magnus Bane… I trace the letter and start to daydream about things I’d rather not talk about.  
But then I remember, he’s a Dater. Daters are usually not respected in society and only celebrities can really get away with being with people other than their Soulmates. If someone ‘ordinary’ started Dating they would practically be shunned, thats how bad it is. So the fact that my Mate, the person society expects me to spend the rest of my life with, had relationships that would get him shunned if he weren’t famous, is a bit disconcerting. I shudder and realize that I need to stop dwelling on that one fact. It doesn’t define him as a person, and I shouldn’t let the media base my opinion of him, besides, he is my soulmate, so he got to be a good guy, because I have standards.   
After a day of the three of us hanging out and watching my shows on Netflix, Mom and Dad got home from work, and all the stress and anxiety Jace and Izzy had gotten rid of came rushing back, all at once. I almost start having a mini panic attack as my parents walk through the front door, but Izzy grabs my hand, sensing my distress, and wordlessly calms me down. It worked just enough for me to greet my parents like a normal human being.   
After they both got changed out of their work clothes, Mom suggested we go to my favorite Ethiopian restaurants.  
While in any other circumstance I would have been overjoyed at this fact, tonight it only furthered my anxiety because I know my family doesn't like that food and we’re only going for me, which means I’m going to be the center of attention.   
The whole way to the restaurant I’m running through all the scenarios in my head and instead of calming me down, I only get worse. Isabelle gives me a sympathetic look and takes my hand. we ride the rest of the way in silence, holding hands.  
The meal was delicious but it was filled with awkward silence and small talk. I was death gripping my silverware the entire time just waiting until the building tension reached a peak. Izzy and Jace kept shooting me worried glances across the table, but they opted to keep their mouths shut, which I appreciated. By the time dessert rolled around, you could cut the tension with a knife.   
They all sang happy birthday and I knew Dad was about to explode. After the cake was distributed dad cleared his throat and my face drained of color.   
"So, Alec. Sixteen. The big 1-6. What's her name, then?" I take a deep breath and look around at my parents expectant faces, and my siblings nervous ones.  
" um, I'd rather not say, it's not the best thing ever..."  
"What do you mean Alexander? How could anything be bad news? What's her name?" My mom asks looking nervous.   
God. "Her". I hate that they assumed but I really can't expect anything less.   
"Well... I can't say here, if I say their name some people will talk. They're kinda super famous..." I mutter looking down sheepishly.  
"Oh! That's wonderful!" She says, her mood changing immediately.   
"Eh..."   
Izzy buts in, unable to contain herself any longer. "They're a Dater" she practically yells, and I flush in embarrassment. Dad gives me a look of judgment before turning to izzy,   
"oh really? Well what celebrity isn't these days? What Is she famous for?"   
Izzy gives me a look that says "they’re-gonna-find-out-sooner-or-later-so-why-not-make- it-sooner" and starts talking to dad,  
"WELL, they model and sing a bit, but you would know them from movies. They're a really well respected actor."  
"That's nice, Alec you're going to have to show us one of her movies when we get home." He says, and the conversation is put to rest for the time being. The rest of the meal went surprisingly well, even though I was a mess of nerves. Then the check was paid and it was time to go home.   
When we get home mom and dad automatically heads to the living room, and I nearly throw up. Izzy, Jace, and I fall behind, and after a huge hug and a promise to be there for me no matter what, we head in after them.   
When we're all seated, dad looks at me expectantly and I muster up all the courage I can.   
"Now before I say anything I love and appreciate you both so much and I hope you don't think any less of me." Mom looks concerned at this, but everyone remains silent, waiting. 

"Magnus Bane"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> muahaha cliffhangers >:D


	4. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> trigger warnings for bad parenting, slurs, and panic attacks. Read at your own risk and enjoy!

There's nothing at first. A few blinks and breaths being held. Silence. It goes on for what seems like forever, but what must have been minutes, seconds. Then mom tilts her head, a ghost of a tear forming behind her eyes,

"what about him, honey?" 

Ok. she doesn't call me that. She's never called me that. She doesn't believe in pet names. This is not going to go well. 

"Magnus Bane is the name on my wrist. My soulmate is a guy, mom."

Dad immediately shakes his head, he keeps shaking and shaking his head.   
"No, nope that not possible, you, my son, are not gay." 

"Dad-"

"I don't want to hear it. Nice prank, though. Who is your Mate, really?"

"Dad... ..Here."

I take off my bracelets and thrust my wrist in his direction, looking out the window, not being able to meet his gaze. I see mom in the reflection, she's staring at her lap, and there is a silent steady stream of tears running down her face, and my heart completely shatters. Dad just stares at first, then he licks his thumb and tries to rub it off, then he throw my hand back at me and sits back down and I follow suit. I sit on the edge of my chair and wait, tensely. I can tell he's trying to stay calm, for moms sake. 

They hold hand and just look at each other for a few minutes, and i chance a look and my siblings. Jace looks like he's waiting for a bomb to go off, and Izzy is crying the same way as mom, but I know it's for an entirely different reason. I opt to staring at the floor and holding back my own tears. Dad is the first to break the uneasy silence. 

"How-how did this happen?" I gulp before responding. 

"I-I don't know dad, it just, did."

" you mean to tell me you’re not the least bit disgusted with yourself?"

"No dad I'm not. You don't question the Mark, this is who in meant to be with."

"Not that! Are yo-"

Mom interrupts him,  
"Are you a homosexual, Alexander?"

 

… silence. I sense all of my family holding their breath waiting for my answer. everyones attention is on me. i hate it. A lot. Here goes nothing.

“Yeah, mom. I’m gay.”

"...w-why? Why would you wish that upon yourself?"

"I didn't chose this mom, trust me. You always told me the Marks were never wrong, so obviously I didn't chose to be this way."

"But, but that can't be possible... What did I do wrong?" 

"Nothing mom you're fine. It's still me, I'm still Alec, now there's just a name on my wrist. Nothing changed." 

At this my dad starts.   
“Yeah that’s right, nothing changed. So how come I’ve been housing a faggot under my roof for years, and he didn’t think to tell me? huh? Explain yourself, boy.”

“Well Dad I didn’t think you would want to know. sort of a ‘don't ask, don't tell’ situation? maybe?”

“This ain't the fucking army, Alexander, this is a family. you-all of you- should not keep anything of this importance from us.”

He begins yelling but my ears start ringing so loudly I no longer can hear it. I squeeze my eyes shut and start counting. I can feel my breath picking up at an alarming rate, and i start drifting from control of my mind.

I can vaguely make out him saying “oh great not this shit again. stop throwing a tantrum you’re fucking sixteen!” But my brain can't comprehend what that means, as I start to shut down. 

I collapse to my knees and I can feel hot tears streaming down my face though I don't have any prior knowledge of starting to cry.   
I'm hyperventilating at this point, and I can't do anything about it. I cover my ears and clamp down as hard as i can, and whenever someone says something, I feel my self make some noise resembling a screech and I clamp down all the tighter.

I'm helpless in my own body, sobbing on the floor of my living room, surely about to be kicked out. Isabelle tries to comfort me but in my anxious state her normally calming touch just freaks me out more and i start breathing all the more harder. When i get attacks like this there isn't much anyone can do but just wait it out until i'm not so hysterical.   
After a few minutes I hear jace sit down in front of me. he doesn't try to touch me, thank the angels, but he just start breathing deeply. Soon my lungs follow suit, and I'm not hyperventilating anymore.

Jace really is the best when it comes to getting me out of an attack. He knows not to talk or touch, and to wait proper amounts of time before attempting either. He just silently gets me to breath at some form of regularness and in a few moments my crying has subsided to a slow trickle. I have snot all over my face and I'm still covering my ears resiliently but Jace just gets me a box of tissues and waits for me to blow my nose. I’m almost back in control of my body after a few minutes and I clean up as best as I can with my eyes still closed. 

I hate panic attacks like this. They are so embarrassing and I hate how I feel afterwards. Like I'm weak and humiliating. My parents never really understood my anxiety, and all I get from them usually is a ‘get over it’ and a ‘stop being a baby’, yeah not fun.

I attempt to open my eyes and look up tentatively around the room. Both my parent have left, but Izzy is sitting on the couch, looking at me apprehensively, and Jace is across from me on the floor, with a (sad) look on his face.

“How long was i out?” I ask nervously, still sniffling a bit from the crying, my voice hoarse.

“About forty-five minutes. Dad’s pissed.” Izzy replies apprehensively, looking at the staircase leading to the second floor. I follow her gaze.

“..yeah I’d imagine. That was a bad one.” 

“I know it was. Do you need anything?” Jace questions.

“A glass of water please?”

“One tall glass of water, no ice, and a straw, coming up” he says, trying to put on a cheery attitude. I supply a weak, half-hearted smile, and am pleasantly surprised to find he even took the effort to get my favorite colored straw.

I go wash my face in the downstairs bathroom, and already I start to feel panicky again, at the thought of how that must have altered tonight’s outcome.  
Ten minutes later, Izzy, Jace, and I are settled on the couch. Izzy and I are cuddling and Jace is squeezed next to us on the small loveseat. we are just sitting in comfortable silence, as I’m still a bit frazzled, when all of a sudden, we hear raised voices coming from the direction of our parents bedroom. We can only make out bits of what they're saying, but it doesn't sound good.

“My son--Soulmate--fag--live--house--NO--choose”  
.  
.  
Crap.

 

“...Shit. Alec I’m so scared.” Jace says after a few minutes of hearing their muffled voices go back and forth. 

 

“Me too, Jace, me too.”


	5. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the slow uploads guys, I've been swamped with end-of-year school work. Anyways, heres the next chapter! It's not the best but its something! enjoy ^.^

(Magnus' POV Backtrack to the morning of Alec’s birthday again.)

“yes i'm sure Sparkles, I have to do this for myself, if not for him. I can’t hide behind hired Soulless’ anymore.” I smirk, as I hear Ragnor sigh on the other end of the line.

“ How many time have I told you not to call me that? Whatever. As long as you’re sure…”

“Yes I’m sure. Stop worrying so much, there are already gay rumors any way.”

“I know, just… Stay safe ok, Magnus?” 

“I always do!” I answer cheerfully, and I hear him chuckle, and make an offhand comment of bills that would beg to differ, and we say good-bye. Ragnor is my agent, but he’s really just like a older friend that makes sure I keep my life together. He’s been with me since even before my first big break.

I wait for about ten more minutes in the green room. My mom texts me a good luck message, and I know she’s freaking out at home, but try as I might, there’s nothing I can do to quell mine or her’s nerves. She’s the only person I’d ever admit nervousness to. A worker call me for 1 minute left, and I give myself a once over.

I’m wearing a button up, faded, light blue shirt, nice dark slim pants, and combat boots. On my face is a thin layer of foundation for the camera lights, and not-even-noticeable eyeliner. I hate it. Myself, and the stylist that my managers hired for me, are under strict contract about not letting me dress myself, as I am ‘too feminine when it comes to fashion, and much too famous in the action movie scene for a full face of makeup’. Ugh. It’s awful, but it’s a price I’m (begrudgingly) willing to pay.

I get announced and am whisked on to stage, and before I know it, my short, morning show segment is over. That was easier than I thought it would be. I hope Alexander saw it.  
After the show I’m bombarded with congradulators and well wishers, but I know none of them really mean it. Everyone in the world probably only care about who he is at this point. That what society does. If a celebrity hasn't found their Soulmate yet, the public makes it there personal mission to find them, no matter the cost. Some teenie bopper singer found their Mate in a village in Tanzania a few years ago. Ah the power of the public. I actually don’t want him to be found that way, as I know from (it was not stalking nope) investigating his twitter and the people he seems to be related to that he (or at least his family) is pretty religious. (hey I've had four years give me a break). 

I sign a few autographs at the studio door, ignoring the constant, “What’s his name???”’s and get in the limo waiting for me. I let out the breath I didn’t know I was holding (wow people actually say that outside of crappy fanfics? Ok then.) and relax into my seat. That was more stressful than I thought it would be, but I survived. I instruct the driver on where to take me and take out my phone, going on twitter to see some response. I’m (not so) surprised to find that “#FindMagnus’Man” is trending third worldwide. Damn they work fast. I decide to check my mentions and it’s mostly positive, save the occasional homophobe. 

(A/N the little comments under the tweets are Magnus' thoughts about them ^.^)

“OMG I can’t believe THE @Magnus_Bane is gay. He is sooooo fabulous. My HERO!!!!”

/I’m not fucking gay but I’ll take what i can get./

“Props to @Magnus_Bane for coming out as BISEXUAL. I feel like a proud mother”

/LET ME LOVE YOU BEAUTIFUL HUMAN YAS FUCK BI ERASURE./

“@Magnus_Bane being ‘gay’ is the most disgusting thing I have ever heard of. Gays can go to hell.”

/Um rude, BLOCKED. They even followed me, how pathetic./

“Everyone hating on @Magnus_Bane right now need to stop. Do you know how hard it is to come out? And in front of millions of people”

/God fucking bless woop woop./

“Why did @Magnus_Bane come out publically? Now he’s going to deal with all of the hate from people. Idiot. Plus hello typecasting?”

/… fair enough. I mean I can’t say I haven’t thought of that. But in the end cons are outweighed by pros./

I read tweets for a few more minutes, until the driver tells me that we’ve arrived at our destination. Ah, Home. 

I refuse the driver’s request to walk me to the door, and scurry (heh, scurry) up my walk, into my beloved apartment building. I greet the doorman, not waiting for more than a hi, and jump in my private, penthouse elevator. 

It felt so good to be home, and my first order of business was wardrobe. I immediately stripped out of the stuffy clothes I'm forced to wear and put on a comfortable tank top, with sequences all across it. I also put on floral skinny jeans and, feeling extra feminine after that ordeal, my sparkly ugg boots. I fix my make up as well, making perfect wings with eyeliner, and adding bronzer to my cheekbones, I finish the look with a little lip gloss, and I'm finally satisfied. 

I sit criss cross at my computer and log on to tumblr. I'm so nervous about how the tumblr community will react to my coming out this morning. I have two completely separate accounts, my official one, where it's more like an actual website then a tumblr blog, and my secret one. I've successfully manage to keep it hidden all these years, though a few mutuals do know, but they're friends and I trust them. 

I go on my official blog first. My ask box is blowing up, and I try to read all of them. It's a lot of the same thing, y’know, 'congratulations' 'so proud' 'you're brave' 'who is he' all that. I answer a few more original ones, and promise that I've seen all the support and appreciate it so much, then I log off. 

Next I get on my private blog, and it's really a breathe of fresh air. I don't have that many followers for being on here for 5+ years (317 to be exact) but that's how I like it. I only have two messages, and they're both from friends about what happened so I answer them privately and then click the search tab. I type in my name, and keep reminding myself I'm on my secret blog, as I scroll through gif after gif of the interview, and hundreds of text post talking about how much they support me, and I have to admit I got a bit teary-eyed at all the love. I reblogged one gif set of the interview and decide that one is enough to just look like a typical supporter. 

I blare some 90s pop and cook my dinner, just enjoying where I am in life right now.  
For the first time all day, I allow myself to really think about Alexander.  
I hope he's ok. I wonder if he saw the interview? I wonder what he thought about it. I hope he likes me. I hope he understands everything. I wonder if he told his family? I hope they had a good reaction. god, i'm so worried about him, really.

I hope he contacts me… maybe i should go on a little follow spree, so i can follow him without people realizing who he is. After I finish eating dinner, I announce that because people have been so awesome i was going to follow back a bunch of people (he already follows me, how awesome) and I follow about 100 other people. After I’m done with my spree i decide to stalk his account a bit. I want to dm him but i really want him to come to me…  
oh well, maybe tomorrow. i spend the rest of my night just chilling out, talking to some fans on twitter, and just loving life. Yeah, life’s pretty great.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> little fun fact; my friends wrote those tweets and I responded to them as Magnus, because I was having trouble coming up with them. ^.^


	6. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is pretty short, but its my favorite so far. enjoy! ^.^

(Alec's POV)

It's only been 6 days. 

It feels longer. 

How it's only been 6 days I'll never know. 

6 days since my 16th birthday. 

6 day since I found out Magnus was my soulmate. 

6 days since I came out. 

6 day since the panic attack to end all panic attacks. 

6 days since my father called me disgusting. 

6 days since my mom cried silently and let it all happen. 

6 days since my sister yelled at my father, and was slapped in return. 

6 days since I was told to never come back. 

6 days since I packed my bags and walked out the front door of my childhood home, away from my siblings, who had to stay, and my parents, who didn't want me. 

6 days of being homeless.

6 days of soup kitchens. 

6 days of pity. From everyone. 

6 days of hell. 

It feels like it's been an eternity. 

I still went to school. 

No one knew. Besides Izzy, Jace, and a few kids that also went to the soup kitchen I've been going to. 

And a few that worked there. Those conversations were embarrassing. 

I'm still trying to find a place to stay. 

I don't know how well it's going.

The local shelter is full. 

I don't really have any friends. 

I slept at the school one night, but that was just weird and I was paranoid the whole time about being caught. Not doing that again. 

I'm completely lost. 

Izzy suggested Magnus. 

But...

I have to finish school. 

I can't just run off with a movie star and expect to have things handed to me because of what my wrist says.

He can't see me like this. 

I need to get my shit together first. 

I don't need saving.


	7. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY. writers block is a bitch, I'm telling ya. I'm going to try and update more frequently, and again, I'm really sorry its taken this long to come out with the next chapter.
> 
>  
> 
> (normal text is Magnus)  
> (Underlined text is Alec)

**(Alec's POV)**

 

“Hey Alexander. I’m Magnus Bane ;)” _sent 10/29/14 9:04pm_

“I see how it is! I am OFFENDED.” _sent 10/30/14 12:46pm_

“Hey are you ok? I was joking about being offended. If you need some time I understand..” _sent 10/30/14 10:59pm_

“Alexander. You tweet a lot. Or, at least you used to. I’m getting worried.” _sent 10/31/14 8:12pm_

“I really hope you’re ok” _sent 11/1/14 7:23am_

“Please be ok. I dot know what I would do if something happened to you.” _sent 11/2/14 1:57pm_

“*don’t. oops lol” _sent 11/2/14 1:58pm_

“Alleexxxaanndddeerrr pls be ok bby i'm so worried” _sent 11/3/14 6:48pm_

“Alexander Gideon Lightwood I wilL HUNT YOU DOWN TO MAKE SURE YOU’RE OK.” _sent 11/3/14 11:59pm_

“;-;” _sent 11/4/14 8:44am_

“I’m honestly worried sick. Please… be ok.” _sent 11/5/14 2:12am_

 

“Hey” _sent 11/5/14 12:32pm_

“I’m ok, mostly. Thanks for caring. I’m sorry for worrying you” _sent 11/5/14 12:32pm_

“I don’t really want to explain what happened. At least, not over twitter DMing” _sent 11/5/14 12:32pm_

 

“OH MY GOSH ITS FINE AS LONG AS YOU’RE NOT LIKE, ON YOUR DEATHBED” _sent 11/5/14 12:34pm_

 

“No I’m not, just a little shaken is all” _sent 11/5/14 12:35pm_

 

“..ok. I’m not going to ask, just know that I’m extremely curious and worried” _sent 11/5/14 12:35pm_

 

“Ok. You don’t have to be though. I’m fine now.” _sent 11/5/14 12:35pm_

 

“Fine. So everything I want to ask has to do with where you’ve been.” _sent 11/5/14 12:35pm_

 

“Uh Magnus? I can't talk long… I’m using a computer in the library, and I have class in 6 minutes. sorry :(”  _sent 11/5/14 12:36pm_

“I just logged on and wanted to let you know I was ok. Which I am. (mostly)”  _sent 11/5/14 12:36pm_

 

“Aw. Ok… before you go, quick, favorite band?” _sent 11/5/14 12:36pm_

 

“Out of everything you could ask, is my music taste that important?” _sent 11/5/14 12:37pm_

 

“YES! Are you kidding thats like the most important question there is!” _sent 11/5/14 12:37pm_

 

“You can’t laugh...” _sent 11/5/14 12:38pm_

 

“Why would I laugh what is it??” _sent 11/5/14 12:38pm_

 

“... It may or may not be Pierce the Veil…”  _sent 11/5/14 12:38pm_

“I like lots of other bands too, though!” _sent 11/5/14 12:38pm_

 

“I’m sorry I was just dYING OF LAUGHTER OMG YOU’RE SO EMO XD” _sent 11/5/14 12:39pm_

 

“Yeah well you just used the “XD” face so you can’t really judge me can you?” _sent 11/5/14 12:39pm_

 

“Touche, ok you win, they’re actually cool guys. Real nice, the were on the soundtrack to a movie I did a few years ago.” _sent 11/5/14 12:40pm_

 

“OH HOLY SHIT RIGHT YOU’RE LIKE FAMOUS AND SHIT HI YOU KNOW PTV I'M OK I PROMISE” _sent 11/5/14 12:40pm_

 

“Lol yeah I am XD You ok there?” _sent 11/5/14 12:40pm_

 

“Yes I’m good, just sort of.. forgot. y’know? Idk, sorry” _sent 11/5/14 12:40pm_

 

“You’re fine ;)” _sent 11/5/14 12:41pm_

 

“Ok, good. What’s your favorite band then?" _sent 11/5/14 12:41pm_

 

“Hm. It’s either Spice Girls or Backstreet Boys…” _sent 11/5/14 12:41pm_

 

“Oh my gosh XD” _sent 11/5/14 12:41pm_

 

“What? They’re quality bands!!!” _sent 11/5/14 12:41pm_

 

“Whatever you say, Magnus. I have class now..”  _sent 11/5/14 12:41pm_

 

“Aw :( Ok, will you be able to be on twitter later?” _sent 11/5/14 12:41pm_

 

“I’m not sure…” sent 11/5/14 12:42pm

 

“Kk, Then give me your number! :D” _sent 11/5/14 12:42pm_

"Please."  _sent 11/5/14 12:42_

 

“Oh! Uh Right ok hold on..”  _sent 11/5/14 12:42pm_

“ 971-543-1274”  _sent 11/5/14 12:42pm_

 

“Ok I’ll text you later! Bye Alexander, I’m glad you’re (mostly) ok :)” _sent 11/5/14 12:42pm_

 

“Bye Magnus :) Oh and btw, I prefer Alec” _sent 11/5/14 12:42pm_

 

“Sure thing, Alexander ;)” _sent 11/5/14 12:42pm_

 

_@Alec_Lightwood is not online._

 

* * *

 

 

Holy freaking crap. I don’t check my twitter for one week… That was something. I logged out of the computer and start heading to 6th period history. As I took my seat and took out my notebook, my mind began to wander, which was fine because I have a 100% in this class and, luckily, it was a movie day.

Did that actually happen? He genuinely, like, gives, two shits about me? I honestly wasn’t expecting that… he was so… kind. Well, I really shouldn’t be surprised, he is my soulmate after all. I need myself a good, down to earth guy, and the universe might not have screwed up royally for once. Though the down to earth part might be a little iffy seeing as movie star.

It’s nice to know that he was thinking about me. No one really thinks of me first nowadays..... A room at the shelter opened up, but since I’m of age and relatively healthy, I might have to give up my room to a mom with a baby, or an elderly lady, or someone else they couldn’t turn away. I know it’s selfish but I really hope I can have the room for a while… Ideally until school lets out, but I’m not delusional, maybe until around Thanksgiving, yeah, hopefully I’ll get it for that long.

Gosh he’s really something. Magnus Bane has hung out with PTV, I wonder if he could introduce me… wouldn’t that be something… honestly he probably wouldn't introduce me because I would most definitely embarrass him, also I couldn’t make any promises about keeping my hands off Vic… what am I saying of course I could, have you seen Magnus? Oh my gosh, this is actually happening…

I couldn’t stop thinking about Magnus for the rest of the day. I was still distracted when I walked into the city library after school. I've been going to the library lately because the one computer at the shelter is almost always taken by someone job/house hunting, which, coincidentally, is what I usually do as well.

I'd been filling out applications for a while when I decided to take a break to do my homework. I was halfway through my work when my phone went off. I had forgotten to silence it, so the default Apple ringtone started blaring throughout the entire library. I hurried to silence it, checking who it was. A number with an area code I didn't recognize was calling, and I could only assume it was Magnus. I pressed the red ignore button, as I wasn't quite ready to talk on the phone yet. I got a text a minute later, confirming what I had assumed. It was Magnus, who was _so hurt_ that I didn't pick up. I explained that I was at the library doing work and would text him when I was done.

As much as I want to get to know him, I can't put my life on halt for him, and that's something I hope he realizes.

When I got back to the shelter it was 7 o'clock. I usually get back late, so this was nothing new. I grabbed a bowl of the stew they were serving with a quick thank you and retreated to my room for the night. After sitting on my bed for a good 15 minutes I decided to grow a pair and text Magnus.

 

“Hey, It’s Alec”

 

“I know darling, you gave me you number, remember?”

 

“Oh. Right. Sorry.”

 

“No need to be sorry :) So, tell me a little bit about yourself, I need more than just your love for Vic Fuentes to go on.”

 

“Haha, right, well, what do you want to know?”

  
  


“Anything. Surely there must be SOMETHING that my soulmate can have a chat with me about. ;)”

 

“Oh gosh, uh ok. I'm Alec, I'm 16, obviously. I have two siblings, Izzy and Jace, they’re both 14, but Izzy’s older by 3 months.”

 

“3 months? How is that biologically possible?”

 

“The wonders of adoption, Magnus. His parents were best friends with mine, when they passed, we took him in, I was only 2 so we’ve grown up together, and sometimes I forget he’s adopted. Except he’s like super blonde and my hair is like the blackest of black.”

  
  


“Thats cool of your parents to take in their friends’ kid. So, what are your parents like? Would they like me? :P”

 

“Unless you get a magical sex change to make you biologically female in every way and erase the fact that you were ever male then, no, they wouldn’t like you”

“oh”

“I'm really sorry”

 

“it’s fine, I’m over it.”

“Actually thats not true at all.”

“I’m trying to be over it.”

 

"...What happened?"

"You said you didn't want to explain over twitter dms, well, we're texting now...."

 

"ok, but just like, its still a sensitive subject ok? So like, I don't really want to go into to much detail."

 

"Of course."

 

"Long story short, my parents kicked me out,  _on my birthday_ , I was on the streets for 6 days, then a room opened at the shelter, so now I'm staying in a homeless shelter. Thats why i wasn't on Twitter all that much, I guess I had other things on my mind."

 

"...Oh my gosh..."

 

"Yeah."

 

"I'm so sorry that happened to you"

 

"There's nothing you could've done. It was going to be a guy, I knew that, and I was prepared for it to not end well, Im going to be ok though. I have to be."

 

"...I dont even know what to say. I just have an overwhelming urge to hug you."

 

"Lol. Well anyways, let's talk about something happier..."

 

We went on like this for a few more hours, sharing our favorite things, and just getting to know each other. We never ran out of things to talk about. We have a lot in common, but not identical interests, which is perfect. We said our goodnights, and we promised to talk more tomorrow. I couldn't wait for tomorrow.

 

 

 

 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah sorry about the weak ending, but it's something, right?
> 
> Sidenote, I actually use XD way too much for my own good and I lovelovelove PTV so pls dont get offended its a fictional story. <3
> 
> Side-Sidenote, I just wrote down random numbers for that phone number, pls dont like, try it or anything XD
> 
> Side-Side-Sidenote, big thanks to my friend Jake for helping to break my writers block. :)


	8. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok guys I have some explaining to do. First off I'd like to profusely apologize for my lack of activity. I really have no excuse except for severe writers block and a lack of motivation. I cant promise a new chapter every week, but I'm going to try my best to upload more frequently then i have been. Once again, I'm really sorry! I turned into my least favorite kind of author, the kind that i promised myself i wouldn't become when I started posting on here. hopefully this will help my back on track. also, sorry if this is really shite or there are any continuity errors, its been a while. <3
> 
> (underlined is Alec again)

**(Magnus’ POV)**

 

I feel like I'd made a lot of progress with Alec. I know he was really scared to talk to me at first, so the fact that we’d texted almost every night ever since I got in touch with him last week was amazing. We’ve really grown close, it's almost like I've known him for years. We’ve talked about everything from my acting career to stupid childhood stories.

There's only one problem. I've never actually seen his face… or heard his voice for that matter. We’ve only ever texted, and I know a week isn't a long time and I shouldn't rush things, but everytime I bring it up, he flat out refuses without an explanation. I'm getting worried...

Maybe he's embarrassed? Or just really shy? Maybe I'm being Catfished! I don't know. I need to bring it up again, but I don't want to scare him off.

 

* * *

 

When Alec got home from school today, I decided to address the subject head on.

 

"Hey Mags!"

 

"Hey Alec, so i have a question. and you can't just answer with i don't know or whatever."

 

"ok….? whats up??"

 

"When can we like facetime? or just talk on the phone??"

 

"uhhhhh"

 

"oh come on. please?? for me?? i still don't even know if you're telling the truth about being my soulmate. maybe you gave me a fake number, or you're a crazed fan trying to stalk me, or your actually like a serial killer or something."

 

"ok ok! we can facetime, if for nothing else then proving my legitimacy."

 

"ohhh fancy words ;)"

 

"oh shut up :)"

 

"so can i call you? like, now?"

 

"uh nows not really a good time…"

 

"well when is??"

 

"in like an hour-ish?? i'm still doing some stuff out and about. i actually shouldn't even be texting..."

 

"Idk i don't think I'll survive!!! a whole hour waiting on my love to return… what will it do to me? *falls to the floor, unconscious*"

 

"always the drama queen."

 

"yep! i am an actor after all ;)"

 

":) i'll facetime you in about an hour ok? gtg."

 

"alright, bye Alexander <3"

 

"bye Mags <3"

 

 

I sighed as I clicked off my phone. Today had been uneventful at best. I'd been waiting for my manager to send me a new script, and I was so bored. At least now I had something to look forward too, even if I had to wait an entire hour.

 

* * *

 

An hour passed, my script still hadn't shown up and I think I might have actually started to die from sheer boredom. I was just about to wither away to nothingness when my phone lit up and Alec's name flashed across my screen. I jumped up and fixed my hair and clothes as quickly as I could, and rushed to answer the call.

As I pick up, the first thing I notice is his eyes. They were the most brilliant striking blue I had ever seen. They swam around like an ocean, and I was getting caught in the riptide. The second thing I noticed was that he was probably the most gorgeous man I had the pleasure to lay my eyes on. His pale complexion and shaggy, jet black hair was a startling contrast to his aforementioned blue eyes, and I found myself staring far longer than I should have. The third thing I noticed was that he appeared to be leaning against a tree, and that, above all things, sparked my interest the most. However, we had been staring at each other for far too long, and I decided that questioning his location wasn't the best way to break the ice, especially with the uneasy look that seemed plastered to his face. I decided on a safer option, in the end.

“Did I ever tell you blue eyes and black hair was my favorite combination?” I said, finally, with a sly smirk creeping its way onto my face.

He blushed, and looked down from the screen, a shy smile appearing. And oh, if his eyes were beautiful, gosh you should have seen his smile. Even the smallest ghost of a smile lit up his entire face, and he seemed to radiate something I couldn't quite place, but I knew I wanted to see it again and again, and I wanted to be the one that caused it.

“Um no, you f-failed to mention that.” he said, still looking away shyly, with a slight stutter.

OMG. Ok, his _voice_. Like yes, I love his eyes and his smile and his face but that **VOICE**. It was like a bunch of romantic similes that I'm not going to bore you with but just know it was **MAGICAL**. Phew.

After I regained my composure, because I swooned, because his **_VOICE,_**  I decided it was best to not gape like an idiot.

“Well, it is. So, Alexander,” I said, in an overtly flirty voice, as I watched his blush rise so almost his entire face was bright red. “enlighten me. Why, exactly, are you leaning against a tree?”

“Uhhh, I'm in the park. The-uh sh-shelter is really noisy, so I just-uh found a quiet corner in the park, so-uh we could talk?” he finished, ending his statement like a question. And ok wow, if I was getting butterflies now, on facetime with him, I couldn't imagine what being with him in real life would be like.

I couldn't help but think i was giving him the most obvious heart eyes our entire conversation, but then, whenever he looked up, he was too, so I guess it was ok.

We showed each other our tattoos, confirming what we already knew. We just chatted for hours, until the sun started to set on him and he had to go, because apparently the walk back wasn’t one one would want to take alone in the dark. This worried me immensely, but he insisted he was fine, and who was I to argue? Soulmate or not, we did only meet a week ago.

Before he left though, I had to ask one last thing.

“Are you sure there’s nothing I can do to help? I can’t place your accent so I have no idea where you’re from, and you still haven’t told me. I just can’t stand here and do nothing while my _soulmate_ live in a homeless shelter.”

“Mags, don’t worry about me, this is temporary. I’ve been applying for jobs left and right, and I already have a good amount saved in my bank account. Soon I’ll get myself an apartment and I’ll finish senior year, and we’ll be together. But for now, well, if I stop being able to handle myself I’ll let you know.”

“Alright, just, be safe, ok?”

“I will, night Magnus.”

“Goodnight, blue eyes.” I said with a soft smile, as Alec hung up the phone.

 

Yeah, blue eyes and black hair was definitely my favorite combination.

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to with the blue eyes and black hair :P don't judge ;) also sorry its so short. its better then nothing :/


	9. Announcement :(

Hey, So I'm just posting this little thing to say sorry. I know a lot of people have been wanting me to update and I'm really really sorry I've been shite at it. In all honestly I've completely lost all of my motivation for this project, and I don't know if I'm going to continue it. I'm so truly sorry for the people who were looking forward to the continuation of this story, but it's lost my interest and i don't want to feel obligated to write, because then it stops being fun. For now, I'm putting To Be Loved on an indefinite hiatus. It might be back, it might not, but I wouldn't wait up for it. Again, I'm so, so sorry, and I hope I'm not disappointing too many people. I will probably post more writing, probably for my other fandoms, but who know. Again, so sorry :( Thank you so much for all the support this little thing has gotten, you have no idea how much it truly means to me. It's absolutely insane how much attention this got, when i first started posting, i never expected over 3000 people to actually give a shit about my writing. So, thank you, and sorry. <3


	10. NOT AN UPDATE :(

Hey guys,

So its been a few months, and I've done a lot of thinking, and I just get no joy out of this story anymore. I've lost interest in the plot, I don't like how I was writing it, and I'm just not realistically going to come back to this. I don't think I ever will, so I didn't want anyone out there waiting or hoping. I've seen all the kind messages, and I appreciate them so much you have no idea. I'll still write, just not this. I have a few stories planned actually, but I am a student so I have zero time to write, and lately my motivation had been at an all time low. So, in conclusion, to anyone who really wanted to see this story finished I'm so sorry :(. I wouldn't wait around for any new writing from me, but it'll happen, eventually, I have no idea when that might be though.

Thank you for the support <3

Im not going to delete this, because I don't have it anywhere else, and while I don't really like this anymore, I think it's important to keep old writing :)

(PS the writing I have planned is 5sos not Malec, I dont really have any malec stories, and dont expect there to be any time soon. I still ship it! I just don't really have anything to write about them)

**Author's Note:**

> so this kind of really sucks but it gets better as the story progresses I promise. ^.^


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